Why? why i didn't go to eli's party? i don't know...
i just terrified...when i'm terrified,i pull off from everyone,and everything...
the only thing to get me up is endorphins... that's why i do a lot of sports recently...
it's miserable to be alone... it's hard to find someone to understand me... to find someone that i enjoy to be with...you asked me why erina? this is why....i terrified to get close to people...
i scared that when i start enjoying the presence of people, people will just pull off.... pathetic yes i know...as much as i enjoy to be with people,i scared to be ditch too...
what different does it makes when i'm not present? you guys still can be happy tho...
some people showed me, people are just the same and things are just eventually gonna be the same in the end...i ain't gonna resist anymore...accept it.... i have been resisting all my life.... i'm gonna start accepting it, the way it is.... i'm sorry for whom i was... i am never a good son,or a good brother...and never a good friend.... i can never satisfy anyone... not even my mom,sister,boss...am i selfish? do i? do i jo? you said i care but i never showed it.... is that what you think jo? sigh...
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